I realize there are a bunch of people who are tremendously busy right now counting the millions of votes that were apparently cast by illegal immigrants who are in fact so magical that they don’t even exist outside of the confines of our President-elect’s deranged mind, but when those recounts are finally complete, I have another quick assignment I’d like this detail-oriented group to perform. I’m not all that savvy when it comes to knowing things about geography, but I’m hoping it won’t be too inconvenient for a couple of them to hop from Wisconsin over to California and find some definitive answers that can be backed up with empirical data to finally explain the reason for James Kennedy’s very existence on this already-suffering planet. Seriously, I want to see graphs and shaded charts as part of the explanation process because otherwise it will be very hard for me to believe that this idiot wasn’t created in a laboratory by a group of reality television producers who were coming down from a night filled with … Continue reading →

An article appeared on US Weekly’s website this weekend entitled, Scheana Shay: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me. Someone posted a link to it on Twitter along with the words, “#1: WHO SHE IS” and I laughed and briefly mourned a life that might have been mine had I not allowed myself to be seduced by Bravo, the most beckoning and alluring of all the cable sirens. I clicked on the article and learned the scintillating information that Scheana has a birthmark on the iris of one of her eyes and that she loves tacos, but what wasn’t explored in that kind of banal list format was anything about who this girl actually is or what it is that she really longs for in life. Yes, I will go ahead and agree right now with those of you who are screaming, “She wants FAME, dummy!” at your computer screens because nobody would go on one of these shows if he or she didn’t crave attention and I think we can all definitively say that … Continue reading →