Vanderpump Rules Recap – 3/2/15

Somewhere deep in the California desert sits the Pink Motel, an intentionally retro-style structure that has a Cadillac permanently parked in front that is painted the shade of pink normally only seen inside of a Crayola box or on the shelves of CVS this month if you happen to wander down the Peeps aisle. It is at this motel that the servers and bartenders of Sur arrive for their annual staff photoshoot.

I already said this last week, but I find the whole act of pretending that there’s a photoshoot for waitresses who work anywhere other than Hooters to be a completely laughable scenario, and I actually took some time today and took a little poll.

“Were you ever a server, hostess, or bartender?” I asked every person above the age of eighteen-years-old I found myself encountering. If the person answered in the affirmative, I asked if the place that had employed him or her had ever done an annual staff photoshoot, to which every person laughed except for one of my guy friends who … Continue reading

March 3rd, 2015 | 2 Comments | Posted in Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

Vanderpump Rules Recap – 2/23/15

It turns out that tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules is titled Jax Cracks – and having such a ridiculous rhyming gift bestowed upon me obviously means that I need to immediately deliver a speech expressing my sheer gratitude. (Full disclosure: I’m coming off having Oscar fever, so I’ve been making acceptance speeches all day long. The guy at Starbucks looked incredibly confused when I thanked both him and my third grade teacher for my non-fat latte.)

But on to my appreciation for Jax Cracks:

I’d like to thank the programmers at Bravo who realized long ago that the population at large would literally watch anything as long as it’s run as part of a marathon.

I want to acknowledge Andy Cohen for being the closest thing to an Evil Genius ever seen outside of a comic book and for helping to usher in a society where the sound “NeNe” all of a sudden has a terrifying meaning that makes toddlers and grown men alike cower in utter fright.

I need to take a moment to … Continue reading

February 24th, 2015 | 6 Comments | Posted in Vanderpump Rules - Season 3